Episode Transcript
[00:00:01] Speaker A: Hello and welcome to today's episode of the Intuitive Femme Network. I am your host, Nancy Cooper, and we have special guest today, Eileen McDonnell. And we are going to be talking all about subconscious mindset and programming around money. So if you've been feeling blocked when it comes to receiving the abundance you deserve, stay tuned. You're not going to want to miss this.
All right, Eileen, tell us all about yourself. Welcome.
[00:00:39] Speaker B: Thanks so much, Nancy. Very happy to be here.
So, all about me. I got really interested in subconscious reprogramming. When I realized that it was what I was doing to myself. By just reading and paying attention to my thoughts, thinking, things in my life started to change. So I became obsessed. And for the last 18 years, I've been in personal development and coaching women to live better lives, be healthier, make more money, have better relationships, even have better sex, change careers. I mean, the, the, the results are endless.
And with reprogramming the subconscious mind, I mean, I'm a Napoleon Hill certified instructor. I'm also a certified Tony Robbins coach. I have different energy healing modalities, but underneath everything really is the programming of our mind that we receive over the, the decades of our lives that we experience.
[00:01:42] Speaker A: Yeah. So when you decided to kind of say, okay, I, I'm already finding that I'm connecting with this idea of subconscious reprogramming. When did you kind of figure out that that was the key or, or how did that kind of play out in your life where you're like, oh, wow, I need to focus more on this. This is, this is really something.
[00:02:05] Speaker B: That would have been.
See, I had searched for years, for over 30 years, actually. The reason why I couldn't get ahead in my life, I would read a couple of self help books. I'd get into two, three chapters, and I'm like, this isn't me at all. Doesn't feel real. I don't identify with it until I figured out that I was an adult child of an alcoholic. So I grew up in a violent alcoholic home.
And so by me paying attention to my internal selft talk and things starting to change based on the things that I was telling myself, that's when the, the, the flip literally got switched.
Because then I understood that whatever I say to myself was what I was creating in my life and I needed to interrupt it. I needed to interrupt it in every area of my life. And really the first place that I started with that was with money.
Awesome.
[00:03:06] Speaker A: I love that. I think that that is, it's like that moment we all, we all have to wait For I say, even when it comes to bringing on clients and with our marketing, it's like, we have to talk to those people that have had that flip switched. They have to have gotten to that moment where they realize, oh, my, like, I've been playing into this. Like, I've been a. An unconscious creator and participant in this. What do I do now? It's like, those are our dream clients, right? Those are the people that were like, yes, we look like we can help you.
We know what to do next. So I love that. I love hearing that for yourself. You had to come to that moment for you where you had to see it and then you were ready to take those next steps. So let's talk about money. What did you first start to kind of see unfolding with your patterns and the unconscious programming, especially, I would assume, around the lack of support and stability you had in your household with that alcoholic parent?
[00:04:15] Speaker B: Oh, gosh, 100%.
So I noticed several things. I noticed that anytime I had extra, it would get taken away.
Either something would break, I had to replace something, an unexpected expense would come up.
I had to take a day off.
Something would happen where the extra. It was like I only had a limited money thermostat. Anything that went over that got taken out got wiped out.
I was tired of living in that cycle. It was exhausting because no matter what happened, I was never getting ahead.
So my bills would increase or I would suddenly get sick and lose time. There was always something that was happen.
Another subconscious program is. And this is something that so many people do. And I know that I used to do it. I would look at things and say, I can't afford that, or there's no way I could ever go there, or that's, that's too nice, I can't have that, or I'm broke.
[00:05:28] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:05:30] Speaker B: Right. So all of those things just kept confirming what I was. And once I started to understand, like, oh my gosh, I don't want to be broke. Why do I keep saying I'm broke?
Why? You know, because anything that follows the words I am is going to come looking for you.
So I am tattooed on my arm because I wanted to make sure that I remember that anything that follows I am is my truth.
So being super conscious of what are, what are, what's the evidence in your life that you're not earning and receiving enough money?
So do you believe, for instance, that rich people are like, I mean, in my story, rich people were liars, they were cheaters, they were kid. They were, they were not above board. They were never going to help me. They were always looking out for themselves.
They were selfish. So number one, I have that belief and number two, I don't want to be that person.
So I'm not only repelling abundance, but I also don't want to become somebody that's abundant.
[00:06:45] Speaker A: Right.
[00:06:46] Speaker B: Because I don't want to carry that identity absolutely with me. So it's all in the way that we see ourselves with money.
It's our, it's our money identity, it's our abundance mindset identity. And so many people think this abundance is like this woo word or you know, manifesting and we just get to sit there and, and meditate our way to a million dollars.
[00:07:14] Speaker A: That's not, I'm still waiting for that one to work. You know, keep trying.
[00:07:19] Speaker B: Right, right. And then people think that it's action, action, action that's going to get there.
[00:07:25] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:07:25] Speaker B: But if you don't have the mindset, if you don't have the language, if you don't have the healthy attitude towards money, then it will always evade you.
So I got to look at my own money story and understand where in my life that, where I had been taught all of these beliefs and typically it's at home. Right. Money doesn't go on, it doesn't grow on trees.
Yeah. Don't have, you know, two, two, two dollars to rub together or.
No. You don't have a pot to piss in or a window to throw it out of. Like it was all of those things that were just flippantly dead. But we as kids, we take them in because we're amazing observers.
[00:08:08] Speaker A: Sure.
[00:08:09] Speaker B: But very poor interpreters.
[00:08:11] Speaker A: Sure. Yeah. And, and one of the things that I, I have said about money is when we think about it from an energetic standpoint, money is a masculine energy. So it's that energy of support, provision, protection, grounded like that. Stability.
Right. And so when we've grown up not experiencing healthy masculinity in our life, that also imprints in our nervous system that nothing is stable. So why would I be able to keep it stable with money? Right. I'm not worthy of support. I'm not worthy of stability. And that can also play out if we had a mother or a matriarchal person in our life. Right. That that was the more dominant. So it's kind of like who wore the pants in your parents situation.
They, they will impress upon us these energies because we're, we're feeling the instability. We're feeling that, gosh, I can't rely on this thing that Was supposed to be the most stupid, stable thing. Especially those of us that grew up with maybe like a covert, passive aggressive, narcissistic parent or an alcoholic or someone who had substance issues.
That is supposed to be that.
The lighthouse. Right. It's like that steady fortress for us where we feel like we're the safest.
And when that wobbles, it really affects how we see everything.
And since money represents stability so much that that one is huge. And so you. I don't know if you've seen it. I've seen it a lot with my clients. But like, it's usually the ones who have had a lot of the instability in their childhood.
Those are the ones that really struggle with their money. And it's not even that they don't make enough or that they don't have enough. It's just like what you said. It's like I get it and then it goes away or I can't keep it or something happens or like it's like seeing these reoccurring patterns. Have you seen that as well on your end?
[00:10:33] Speaker B: 100%.
And I just turned on my hot flash fan, so I have a remote.
[00:10:40] Speaker A: I'm going to need one soon.
Do it.
[00:10:44] Speaker B: So something that I noticed too, and stability is an amazing word. The other word that I hear and what's really underneath money is safety.
It's that feeling of safety, that feeling of I am provided for, that I have food, shelter, I'm not going to be left out in the cold, my belly is going to be full. I have somewhere to sleep. I have clothes on my back. The basics are taken care of as soon as you don't have finances. And we all have a right to be rich. That's the thing. That's something that people don't appreciate or they don't fully accept that it is our right to be abundant. Yeah. And it is our own attitudes and. And perceptions that will push it away and resist it. Because the other thing is that I didn't trust myself with money.
[00:11:36] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:11:37] Speaker B: Wasn't modeled any way to with money.
So when I was a kid, I don't know how money was handled. I know that both of my parents worked. My dad was an entrepreneur. My mother was also an entrepreneur and then went on to waitressing. Went back to waitressing. So I never saw it. But when my parents split up, we suffered so didn't pay any child support. And my mother worked two jobs supporting us as a single parent. So. So I saw struggle all the time. I never saw the model of the budget or the.
[00:12:12] Speaker A: Yeah, I didn't either.
[00:12:14] Speaker B: Right.
[00:12:15] Speaker A: I didn't either.
[00:12:17] Speaker B: Right.
[00:12:17] Speaker A: See, it, I think too, it was a generational thing. Like, it's like, don't talk about this, you know, like, don't talk about money. They're airing your dirty laundry kind of thing. And it's like, we need to be educated. That was definitely something that I noticed in my adult life, is how many years I went making really bad financial decisions that I'm still paying for at 38 years old because I could have set myself up so much better if I had been taught. And it was also something connected to that nervous system. Regulation. Right. If we didn't have that stability, we don't feel safe in our own bodies. And so we're going to be doing things to, to distract us from that discomfort. And that's usually going to be dopamine hit things. And how often do we use. What is it?
Retail therapy? Is that. Is that what people call it? To alleviate that discomfort in our nervous system. Oh, that felt good. And then we feel guilty later. Right. We won't wear those shoes that we bought in that. In that episode. I guess we could call it the avoidant episode. We'll call it that. I like that. And. And so we feel that guilt. Right. And then we've got this like museum of artifacts of shame that tell us, Right. They're like mirroring back to us, like, you suck with money. Like, you're not good. You don't deserve to have it because look what you did.
And so it's like this reoccurring. I mean, we just like marinate and all of that.
If you were to help a client move through money and that money mindset, what would that look like? Can you kind of give us, even if you want to role play here, like, what. What would that really be like for someone if they want to start clearing that out?
[00:14:14] Speaker B: What a good question. So there's. There's something that I know and that's people, and you said it, the word avoid. They also numb, so they don't want to feel.
Yeah. So something. I mean, we have a four actually it's eight word expression in our home whenever we go shopping. We're a family of five.
So we don't just go out and buy whatever we want whenever we want. I've already tried that. It doesn't work.
[00:14:44] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:14:45] Speaker B: So instead we say, do we like it, love it, need it, or want it?
So if we need it or love it. Absolutely. We could get that. As long as our other responsibilities are Taken care of. And now we're getting, you know, deeper into, like, the. The mechanics of money coaching. And I'm not, you know, like a money coach. I work with, sure, subconscious programming. Right. But those eight words, need it, want it, like it, love it. And then asking yourself, before you spend any money, am I trying to avoid feeling something?
[00:15:20] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:15:22] Speaker B: And it's bringing that awareness. Because until you bring the awareness, you're never going to be able to change it because your subconscious patterns are going to keep running in the freaking background. Just like the apps run on your phone where you have to swipe up together all the apps that are running, same thing.
And unless you are aware of the way that you think and how you feel, nothing's going to change. So that is the first thing that when I'm spending money, what energy am I carrying when I'm spending?
[00:15:56] Speaker A: I love that. I think it's so important. It's like, am I trying to avoid something with this purchase? Like taking just that moment right there and then be willing to sit with it?
Right. That's. That. Oh, that's the hard part.
[00:16:12] Speaker B: Right?
[00:16:13] Speaker A: It's not only to pause, but then to go, oh, I am trying to avoid something. Like, how do we sit with that thing that we're trying to avoid that we catch ourselves trying to avoid? How do you recommend someone take that pause before moving on to the next step?
[00:16:31] Speaker B: So I've experienced this when I'm going up to Starbucks. Now, buying a Starbucks for a family of five, it gets pricey.
[00:16:38] Speaker A: Oh, my gosh. Yeah.
[00:16:39] Speaker B: So I've actually had the thought for myself.
Do I need this?
No. Do I want it?
[00:16:50] Speaker A: Sure.
[00:16:50] Speaker B: It be nice. You know, I like a, you know, venti oat latte. That's great.
But how am I feeling right now? And do I want it? That's fine. If I want it. How do I feel if I don't get it?
And it's the what is in the gap of how I feel when I don't get it?
Is there a lack.
Is there me saying, man, does that mean that I'm not worth the money?
Does it mean that I'm not worth a Starbucks coffee? That maybe I'm a Tim Hortons or Dunkin Donuts coffee drinker, depending on where you live?
Is it.
What.
What identity do I have attached to this purchase?
[00:17:34] Speaker A: Yeah, I really, I love that. Eileen, I'm sorry to interrupt you, but I want to take that just a step deeper to really, like, solidify the power of what you're saying. Because even thinking about that with like, Starbucks, right? And you're saying, like, what identity is attached to this? How often do we put our identities into something where it's like, well, I should go to Starbucks because that's what rich people do or that's what successful people do. And so I feel like I should be doing this. So I look this way, and I think that that's really, really something very powerful that you're pointing out here with this is like, what is in that gap? Because if we're looking at that saying, well, I want to do this.
I want to buy that Louis Vuitton bag instead of pay my rent just so I can walk around with it. So everyone thinks that I'm something that I'm not. Like, what is going on there? Right? Like, that's a really beautiful invitation to. To get feedback on what is really running the show in that subconscious.
[00:18:41] Speaker B: Right? Because we can't change our subconscious programming unless we change our identity. And that doesn't mean that we're changing our name, we're changing our birth date, we're getting new fingerprints. That's not what I'm saying. The identity, it's. It's who we believe that we are.
So if I attach my value to having Starbucks, then.
Then that's fine. I'm not judging. I. I love Starbucks too. But I'm saying that if I need to attach my worthiness, my value, the picture of who I am to another brand, then there's something in the subconscious mind that's happening.
There's something there.
So that would be the first thing, is that awareness and questioning. And really, I think if. If I could give, like, a.
A bigger invitation, it's to be curious.
[00:19:36] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:19:36] Speaker B: Be curious. Why am I choosing to spend money this way? And then asking, is the way that I'm spending money aligned with what I want?
[00:19:46] Speaker A: Yeah.
Too curious. No judgment. We don't need to shame ourselves or judge. It's. It's a program that was put there by someone else. It's not even really our fault that the program is there.
But the beautiful thing is we have the power to take responsibility for it and change it.
And so getting into that curiosity space, that's. That's a really powerful way to do it.
[00:20:11] Speaker B: Right? So. And that's something that I invite my clients to do. When a thought comes in, just say, oh, isn't that interesting?
[00:20:19] Speaker A: That's exactly what I love that. That's exactly. Yeah.
[00:20:23] Speaker B: Isn't that interesting? Like, oh, I just thought to push somebody off their bicycle.
Isn't that interesting? Like, it, it's just. It's just something that, you know, not to judge anything, just to be an observation of your thoughts. Because so much of what you think of, 95% of what you think is happening on automatic.
You don't even have control over it.
That's. That's the river that keeps running through. So you get to have your thought and you get to observe it.
Oh, isn't that interesting? And then let it move on. You don't have to take action on everything. You don't have to, you know, nag it to death to figure out why am I thinking this. Oh, my God. It's just an awareness. And then you get to switch it, you know, you get to tweak that belief.
[00:21:17] Speaker A: Yeah, I think that's really important too. You're bringing up so many really, really important things.
Because when we sit there and like, we just keep beating that drum, like, why do I keep wanting to do that? Why do I keep thinking that? Like, like you said with the I am statement, the. The more that we focus on it, the more that it's gonna grow. And sometimes the better thing to do is just again, become aware of it, observe it, and let it pass on. Because that way we're not attaching to it. We can accept and look at it and say, wow, that's an old program. That's not necessarily who I am. And the more that I can be detached from it and the more I can allow it to move through me, the less I'm going to feel compelled to act on it because it's going to be less of a part of me and just more of an errant thought until it just becomes nothing at all. It just loses its power.
[00:22:16] Speaker B: Right? Right. And thoughts are contagious.
So once you have a great thought, more thoughts follow.
More good thoughts follow once you. Because like attracts alike. So as soon as you have a negative thought, you notice that you start go. You know, I mean, it's a very slippery. Oh, yeah. Oh, I really shouldn't spend the money on Starbucks to. Oh, my God. And questioning all of your life choices. Right.
[00:22:42] Speaker A: I knew I wasn't worthy of the, you know, like, we can go, right. Go downhill fast.
[00:22:48] Speaker B: Right? So instead what I do is I interrupt the thought.
So let's say you pull up to Starbucks and you're like, oh, I really want a coffee. Oh, but do I really want to spend 750 for our coffee?
And. And. And you're like, I don't know. You know, I shouldn't spend this money. Oh, my God. I've spent so much, blah, blah, blah, and. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Timeout, Cancel, cancel, cancel. Yeah, and actually interrupt. And I've even said, cancel, cancel, cancel. Just standing in line at the grocery store because I've had a thought or I've said something like, oh my God, I'm so stupid. I forgot my wallet. And then I say cancel, cancel, cancel. I'm not stupid.
[00:23:26] Speaker A: Yeah, I'm human.
[00:23:28] Speaker B: Right? So it's.
Right, so it's, it's any, any time that you want to switch something up in your life, interrupt the thought.
So when you're standing there about to make that purchase, like you said, observe, don't judge. If you have a negative thought, cancel, cancel, cancel. Tweak it. Think something that you want to think and then move on. Now, this isn't like some kind of magic sauce that you're going to do it once and it's forever more.
[00:23:57] Speaker A: It's time to rebuild those neural pathways.
[00:24:00] Speaker B: Exactly. So.
Right. It took you tens of thousands of times to. I mean, I've been studying this for almost 30, 000 hours. I've been studying the subconscious mind. So it, You've. You've done this tens of thousands of times.
So it's going to take you a hot minute to reprogram something different. But let me tell you, it works and it's worth it. When you do the work, when you're putting it in.
[00:24:31] Speaker A: Yeah. I make the joke that it's not like we can't just go and do like a lobotomy and just like take that part of the brain out or do some kind of like government agency mind control.
Something like that's just not, it's not realistic. It's not just gonna go away immediately because it's been there for so long. But if we become aware of it, that's like the most important thing. Right? It comes, it goes from subconscious to consciousness, and then from there, that's when we can start making intentional decisions based on data that we have in that moment. And eventually it will move out and we will replace it with the new thing. And it, it takes diligence. It takes a willingness to want for things to change.
[00:25:20] Speaker B: Oh, 100. It takes making a committed decision.
And so many people are like, oh, it would be so great. But that feels really hard.
Okay, fantastic. Then you're gonna keep suffering.
[00:25:35] Speaker A: Yeah. Yeah. Choose your hard. Right, Right. Choose your hard. It's hard to re pattern it. It's also hard to have a hundred thousand dollars in debt and have collectors calling you and feel stressed Every day. So like, yeah, you get to pick, you're in charge.
[00:25:51] Speaker B: Right?
[00:25:52] Speaker A: Yeah.
So moving, moving from that, where it's like, okay, let's bring it into conscious awareness. We're seeing this, we're disrupting the pattern.
Is there anything else that you would recommend to people kind of moving forward, maybe like daily practices or daily things that they can really do to start reaffirming how they really feel and believe when it comes to money.
[00:26:21] Speaker B: Right. So your thoughts definitely. And pay attention to your language.
So when you're looking at something, do you have the thought or do you say, there's no way I can afford that.
You can add the word yet to it. That's great. I, you know what? Can't afford that yet.
So that also tells your brain that there's an anticipatory time where you will afford it. Right.
[00:26:47] Speaker A: So potential there at some point.
[00:26:49] Speaker B: Right. Because so many of us, when we go from not believing that we can be, do and have whatever we desire, it's so challenging when somebody like you or I say, no, you actually can have whatever you want. You can be doing, have anything. There's a gap in that belief. So even just saying, I can't afford that yet, and catching yourself and changing that feeling of despair or financial scarcity or whatever, and turn it into hope.
Now long term hope is not a great strategy, as you know, so you can hold on to hope for so long. But that hope can also build into having that faith in yourself that it's going to happen and trust yourself that it's going to happen.
[00:27:40] Speaker A: So we're going to move from hope into faith. Faith is it kind of like going up the emotional scale. You know, when we're healing, we can like get from like despair into anger. Sometimes we need to allow ourselves to go there and then we come into acceptance. And so is this kind of like that same thing where we can start by giving us the opportunity to hope and then that can then turn into faith and then continue on from there.
[00:28:06] Speaker B: 100%. 100%. Because we will not create anything that we want unless we have complete belief that we can. Because the belief has to come first.
[00:28:19] Speaker A: Yeah, I can see how that would work too. Like hope moves into faith and then faith goes into belief. Like that. That's really cool. I love that.
[00:28:29] Speaker B: Right. Because if you never open up because faith is opening up the window, faith is opening up the window saying this is possible.
Yeah.
You don't go from this is never going to happen to oh yeah, it's totally going to happen. It that it doesn't work that way because what happens is the subconscious programming will automatically say, nope. And. And the. The conscious mind says that won't work.
[00:28:54] Speaker A: Yeah, that's why a lot of mantras don't work. Like, people are like, I say positive mantras all the time. It's like, honey, like, you're trying to go from here to here and like that. Like, you need a ladder. Like, your brain is in. You're out of your mind. It's not absorbing it.
[00:29:10] Speaker B: And it can't absorb it because you haven't programmed your subconscious mind with that belief. You repeat it. It's just words.
So if, if, if you're like, I am abundant, I am joyful, I am wealthy, you might as well say, I'm a potato, I'm a banana, I'm a lawn chair. Like, because you're not doing it with feeling, you're not actually pressing anything on the subconscious mind. Every single time you've impressed stuff on your subconscious mind, positive or negative, you've had emotion with it. Yes, I'm without emotion. So if something comes up and you feel shameful, that's what the subconscious mind is being programmed with.
If you have something that you are joyful about, that's how it gets programmed into the subconscious mind.
So look at anything that you are feeling. Shameful, guilty, angry, sorrowful, grief, regret, those kinds of things.
Anything that is a recurring pattern that, oh my gosh, I see that person and I feel anxiety.
I experience that person, I feel guilt. I see a sign, you know, advertising for a charity.
There's something that says, I can't give or I feel bad or I need to avoid. I don't want to look at those hungry children in a third world. You know, all of those things. These are all programs.
[00:30:38] Speaker A: Yeah. And so many people say, oh, it's triggering. Right. It's a. Which is like such a.
This psycho, like, psychological term in psychology. This becomes so diluted. I would say it's more of just an invitation.
Like, if it's activating something in your body, there's an invitation to say again, go, become curious and say, oh, like, what's that? Like, what. What is out of alignment with these things? Like, I see a million dollars. Or someone says a million dollars. And I like, what? Like, what is that?
Look at it. Sit with that. Lean into the invitation.
[00:31:16] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah. So going back to your question of, like, what daily things it could be, you know, changing that, redirecting that thought to, yeah, it's totally possible. Having hope, building up to faith, I have a whole tool that I'll give your audience on how to build their money story, how to rewrite their money story. Oh, my gosh. So many of us that they die broke. Yeah, they die broke. And we thankfully have. That will not be us.
You know, and there's so few people, I mean, less than 10%, that that will actually be able to retire comfortably.
[00:32:00] Speaker A: And our economy now, oh, my word.
[00:32:04] Speaker B: Right.
[00:32:04] Speaker A: Just getting harder and harder.
[00:32:06] Speaker B: Right.
So. And that doesn't need to happen.
That is. That is total. We don't need that to happen to anybody. So looking at.
And again, going back to, you know, have hope and whatever. So once you have hope, then your shame body has less to hold on to.
So once you have hope, it's like, okay, so I'm sitting in line at Starbucks and I'm hopeful, and I know I keep coming back to Starbucks and it's okay.
[00:32:36] Speaker A: It's a great example.
[00:32:37] Speaker B: I hope to Starbucks. Yeah. But, you know, sitting in line at Starbucks and thinking to ourselves, like, I don't think I should have this. Okay, what's my language about?
And getting curious around it and then asking yourself, okay, where did I learn about money?
What was modeled for me when money came in and money left? What did it feel like?
What were. What. What are some of the rules that I have around money?
Do I think $100 is a big purchase? Do I think $10,000 is a small purchase? What are the rules that I hold? Yeah, all of these things are neutral. We make assumptions, we make up rules, we make up conditions. We're very positional when it comes to money. This is right, this is wrong. I need to do this. I don't need to do that. I mean, look at everybody that has been programmed like, you got to make sure that you put everything into your retirement fund.
Don't invest it here. That's low yields. That's blah, blah, Right? And were we to decide for everybody else what's right for them in their money, if they want to invest in. In a library of shoes, that's their business.
Whatever brings them joy. There's a book here by Ramit. What's his name? Ramit Sethi, and it says, I will teach you to be rich. It's a great book.
It was a great read for me. It was very fun. But it talks about the values of when you're earning and receiving money. And that's the other thing, right? It's illegal to make money.
So that's language that we say all the time. You cannot copy legal tender it's illegal.
So you make sure that you earn and receive it. Napoleon Hill.
[00:34:25] Speaker A: I was like, where is she going with this? I was like, what? And then. Right, because subconsciously.
Yeah, if you know that, then it's like there is some type of disconnect, right?
[00:34:38] Speaker B: So Napoleon Hill, he used to say earn, only earn. And then one year he had written a contract with somebody for a hundred thousand dollars.
At the end, the guy was actually cheating him out. He was a crook, whatever. He got arrested. And while Napoleon Hill earned the hundred thousand dollars, he never received it.
So anytime I'm setting a money goal, it's always I earn and receive this amount of money.
Earn and receive. So it's not like, hey, how much money do you make? It's how much do you earn and receive? I am earning this. And it's. I am. It's not. I will.
[00:35:19] Speaker A: Because then future.
[00:35:21] Speaker B: Right. It's not. I want to.
[00:35:23] Speaker A: Because if that's very open ended, like it. Honestly, I'm, I'm challenging the belief right now and I'm looking at that going, yeah, because if, if you are showing up, you can say like, I am earning this right? And so right there, there is a truth. And it's almost like we can piggyback the next step of receiving onto that truth. It's kind of like we're using it as a little like hook and reel it in kind of thing by, by positioning it first with the truth. I'm earning this amount of money by showing up, by investing in myself, in my business, by sitting down and writing out all the emails or by doing this, I'm earning this money and I'm gonna receive it. I'm receiving it too. So that. I like that. I really, really like that.
[00:36:18] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah. So it's, it's the language that we use.
So there's. And, and you talked about consciousness and, and being unconscious. And I'm sure you know about the four steps of competence, right?
[00:36:30] Speaker A: I, I've never heard of them.
[00:36:31] Speaker B: I would like the four levels of competence. This is. I love it. And ever since I, it was taught to me, I'm like, I am holding on to this because it is so good.
So there is an unconscious incompetence. That's when we are at the point where we don't know what we're doing wrong. We just know that we're doing it wrong. Or sorry, we don't know that we're doing it wrong. We're just doing it wrong. Okay.
[00:36:55] Speaker A: So it's like we don't know what we don't know kind of statement like. Well, like that one.
[00:36:59] Speaker B: Ignorance is bliss.
[00:37:01] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:37:02] Speaker B: We don't know.
Right.
Sorry, I got distracted. My, My kids just came home from school.
[00:37:07] Speaker A: Oh, you're okay?
[00:37:08] Speaker B: We're good. Yeah.
So then the next level is conscious incompetence. And that is when we notice that. Okay, here I am. That was a mistake.
Or I could have done that better.
And you're consciously incompetent, so you know that you're not doing it. Okay. And you either are choosing to do it still. Right. Because once you know something, you can't unknow it. So either you're choosing to do it still or you've done it and you're like, oh man.
Right.
The next level is conscious competence.
That's where transformation, like the, the, the, the. The conscious incompetence, that's the awareness.
That's the eyes opening to. Wow. Look what that's the hope piece, okay. Is you're opening up the, the, the. The. The door, the window of hope.
[00:38:02] Speaker A: To be like that where you say like the, the flip is getting switched.
[00:38:05] Speaker B: Right.
[00:38:06] Speaker A: Like the switch is getting flipped is like that moment where we go from the conscious incompetence, like where it's like we see it now instead of just ignorance is bliss and we're just suffering and we don't know why and everything is everyone's fault. And that kind of energy like.
[00:38:22] Speaker B: Yes, yes, I. I said it. Right. Right.
So then, so we have unconscious incompetence. Conscious incompetence.
Next is conscious competence. That's where we're actually making the choice to change our self talk.
To be like, oh, okay, I recognize it. Awareness.
[00:38:42] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:38:43] Speaker B: Secondly, I want to choose something different, and so I'm going to do something different.
[00:38:48] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:38:48] Speaker B: And that is the point that you stay in very, very much during the process of transformation because you consciously must choose to be competent.
[00:38:59] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:39:00] Speaker B: Until you are consciously. Sorry. Until you're unconsciously competent.
[00:39:06] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:39:07] Speaker B: And that is the beautiful place where you know, your self talk. It's. It's been completely eliminated. I don't remember the last time.
And my self talk was horrible.
I'm an idiot. I'm worthless. My mother. This is an exact quote from my mom, you better marry for money because you're never going to make anything of yourself. So that was the belief that I went through the world with.
So I'm a loser. I'm ugly. I'm like.
It was. There was unbelievable, like, oh, I. I look like crap in this and da, da da. And I don't have clothes and I'm worthless and I don't deserve it and you know, I should just die. Like it was huge, negative, self defeating us.
I don't have those anymore.
They are gone. Yeah. So I have been able to quiet my mind so that I can be. Or that I am completely present and I'm.
[00:40:09] Speaker A: And no longer creating your reality from those old thoughts.
[00:40:16] Speaker B: Right.
[00:40:17] Speaker A: Like, that's the big thing. That's the whole point of doing all of this. That's the point of doing the hard work of it. Because when we're in those spaces of still affirming these really crappy things that were said to us that affected our sense of worth, we create our reality based on that.
And so if we can do the work to rewrite it and clear that out so that we're in a very different energy, that's. That's where we're going to be creating from. And that's going to be more in alignment with our desires, with our hopes, with our dreams, with our wishes, versus just creating and recreating the same old money story, relationship story, work story. I mean, it's just like this is why people feel stuck, right? It's like I'm just stuck. It's like, mommy. Because you, you, you haven't changed your subconscious beliefs.
Of course you are. Like, you can't move unless we change what's happening here. And I think it's like that thing a lot of times where it's like cart before the horse kind of thing. It's like it's not going to get better until you start changing it in your head.
It's not something that we can just sit back and wait for our circumstances to suddenly improve so that we feel better about ourselves. Because even if they did is exactly why when you get the money, you then blow it, or you don't, whatever. Like someone could come and give you everything.
And within a. What you hear these stories about people winning the lottery?
[00:41:56] Speaker B: Yeah. I was just gonna say yep.
[00:41:58] Speaker A: Why? Because the same program was still there. It's the thermostat. It is that belief thermostat. It will go back to exactly what it was.
And so to the best way to help someone is this type of work. Honestly, this is the best way to help anybody. Because without doing that shift, we're in the realm of quote, unquote insanity. This is doing the same thing over and over again, hoping it's going to change. And it's exhausting. It's so exhausting.
[00:42:36] Speaker B: Yeah. Yeah. And so like I created a Program. And I hope it's okay to share this. Absolutely. A program called the Sacred Breakthrough. And it's a three day program. And the whole reason behind it is to poke at your subconscious programming to see what your, what your go to's are, to see what your programs are so that you can eliminate them and live in a completely different way. Because this isn't only about money. You and I know this. It's not about money, but people are. So they, they, they separate all. They, they compartmentalize all of their life. And it's like, dude, how you do one thing is how you're doing.
[00:43:17] Speaker A: Exactly. Money's just the mirror. So is your dating life. So it's like there. If one's bad, I promise you they probably all are like, right?
[00:43:27] Speaker B: So, so they're at different levels, right? Different levels of fulfillment, different levels of, of happiness.
And no, you can't work on all of them all at the same time.
But when you start to make that one change, suddenly things look so different.
This is something that I say all the time. A plus B equals C. If you're A and let's say your partner's B and your relationship is C. If you change, AC changes. Yeah, you change. A, C has to change.
So if you change one thing in your life, it's gonna impact. If you change one story, if you change the belief that you actually are worthy. Like when I said that, I quieted my mind, like that's the goal.
Because inside of that is incredible freedom. It's freedom to be my full self, fully expressed all the time without apology.
And that's why women want to do this work. Yeah, because this is what you're working towards. And I couldn't. And I don't.
I know, I know that I couldn't have believed that this was possible until I got to this other side. Because we've lived with this self talk that. That is our worst critic for our whole lives. And then suddenly she's disappeared. It's like, holy shit, where did she go?
You know, and like sayonara, here's you know, bon voyage, crack the champagne on the boat and thank God you're gone kind of thing. Not to say that she's disappeared forever because we're just human and things will come back.
But we have the ways to deal with it now.
So when something comes up, we accept the invitation and we're like, you know what? I actually don't want this. So then choose a better way.
[00:45:28] Speaker A: Yeah, I love it. This has been so much fun getting to talk to you.
I will definitely make sure we get the link for your little freebie that you offer to the audience. So we make sure to have it in the description.
Is there anything else that, like. Like a one liner or any last note or message that you want to leave for the audience before we sign off?
[00:45:56] Speaker B: This is.
It's so, so hard to put it in one sentence because how do you tell somebody that you've never met that I believe in you and I know that you have, and I. I get emotional every time I think about her sitting there and how her life can change and what she's dealing, walking through right now.
How do I tell her that you're worthy to do this work and to keep going until you feel the way that you want to feel? It's going to be hard.
It's not going to be a cakewalk.
But either you choose to keep living in the shit that you've been living, or you choose to open up that freaking window and be like, yeah, I want something different.
And you can have anything you want. You truly can. You just have to decide that you want it more than you want to stay the same.
[00:46:58] Speaker A: I love it. I love it.
Oh, and on that, we are gonna. We're gonna end this. Thank you so much again, Eileen, for being here. And we'll see everyone on the next episode.
